what does rofl stand for

rise our father lucifer


(Source: gaaaaaaaaaambit, via the-boy-who-was-a-crow)

so I just got a small bag of doritos roulette and every god damn chip was spicy

I am going to die

Anonymous asked:
I am the night!

oh okay

Anonymous asked:
I want to cuddle with you

you can cuddle with me I am okay with that….. who are you?

Anonymous asked:
send me dick pics



Now those are some huge dicks

  • Me: *out for dinner with my dad because we were too lazy to cook*
  • Random Old Lady: *comes up out of no where with the most judgmental look ever* (will also be refereed to as 'ROL')
  • ROL: Isn't he a little old for you?
  • Me: Well, considering he's my Dad, I'd say that your a judgmental hag.
  • Dad: *chokes into his drink*
  • ROL: You should respect your elders.
  • Me: You should respect your youth, we're the ones who'll decide on whether or not to pull your cord in like, what? Five weeks?
  • Dad: *chokes on his drink again*
  • ROL: *storms off*
  • Dad: *looks at me with a disapproving look*
  • Me: What?
  • Dad: Come on, you and I both know it will be three weeks.


pros of turning 18: can legally do the stuff i already do
cons of turning 18: no longer the dancing queen

(via mytrueaddictons)




how do woman not orgasm when inserting tampons.

like isn’t just like having sex idgi?

This sounds like a Mitt Romney diary entry.

how do men not orgasm when putting on a condom

like isn’t just like having sex idgi?

(Source: basedyeeezus, via kitty3doctorwhovian)


who the fuck is talking shit about the xkit guy i will drive to your house and preform a colonoscopy on you with my boot

(via robert-downey-jesus)

Anonymous asked:
Your boss is your brother and he's being pissy about it overall? D:

nah he just didn’t want to drive me home, go back to work and then go home later